I can't believe it's been six months since I've posted anything on this blog! I had planned to post at least once a month this year. So what happened? LIFE. ("Life is what happens to you, while you're busy making other plans".)
As I sit here reflecting upon where the months have gone, (or the year 2012 for that matter), I can see that I've been quite busy. It's only when I allow myself the time to sit and reflect that I realize I've accomplished a lot. Most of the time I beat myself up for not doing enough, and lament that so much time has passed. I wonder if this is just something my particular being does, (I recognize it's a pattern of mine) or if this is a human condition? Some days there's so much I want to get done that I become paralyzed and can't figure out what to do first, so I fiddle around with Facebook, watch t.v., or do any number of other procrastinating activities. My ex-husband used to accuse me of running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, creating busy-work in order to feel productive--but I digress...
(What about a J-O-B, you might wonder, if you're someone who doesn't know me and you're actually reading this blog).
Being self-employed can be a curse. Without a boss telling me what to do, I have to juggle my possible money-making activities with my many creative pursuits (which sometimes make money), and somehow find a way NOT to continually go into fear (about not making money) or overwhelm (usually connected to my fear about not making money).
So, yesterday was a rainy, chilly Monday. I had no real estate appointments and I was looking forward to working from home. I have no house that I'm currently renovating, no vacant rental properties to get filled, and no theatrical productions to perform in. I guess I could've written a song, but it seems that songwriting has moved to the bottom of the to-do list at least for now.
I planned to get on-line to search for homes to show buyer-clients, and I planned to work on the homework due for a marketing class this coming Wednesday (I haven't even started), and I planned to send out thank you notes that are long overdue, and to contact any and all possible real estate prospects; then I planned to finish up my new acting resume and search on-line for possible plays to audition for, and I planned to exercise, and oh, I can feel myself going into overwhelm just thinking about it!
So I decided it was finally time to get back to the blog, 'cause I didn't feel like doing any of the above. I looked for inspiration for something to write about and couldn't come up with a damn thing (Kind of like my songwriting these days.) I got into my usual head trip: "who cares about what I have to say?" "who's gonna read this anyway?" "what can I express that I haven't already said over and over ad-nauseam?" What started out as a healing blog while I was laid up with my broken femur (for my own personal healing, not anyone else's) has turned into a blog without a cause. Except I realize: The femur is healed, but I'm still broken.
Now it's Tuesday, and I'm sitting in front of the fireplace for the second morning in a row. With just five more minutes until I head off for a real estate appointment, I find this inspirational message from the blog-o-sphere: Things-happen-slowly-not-all-at-once ...Perfect.
Some things I've done since May:
|Did a major home renovation, then got the home rented out|
|Sold some Real Estate|
|Performed in "The Dixie Swim Club" at Chaffin's Barn|
|Attended the Texas Songwriter's Cruise|
|Went to California to see friends, attend a conference, and visit my sisters|